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Their View: We are a nation under the influence of two beers

So the officer, who some people in our community believe should be out enforcing more important laws, like union organizing, notices the sweet vapors of alcohol and bile wafting from the driver's eminence and decides it's time to test for sobriety.

The thug in blue puts the driver through a battery of tests, finally asking the man, woman or some combination of the two, "What have you had to drink this evening?" or afternoon or some combination of the two.

The answer is, invariably, "I hadda coupla beers."

This covers the smell, any amount of drinking, any blood alcohol content that might come into play, having taken out mailboxes on both sides of the road and any contingencies that might arise.

It is an all-purpose lie for occasions such as these. It has become our nation's shared and singular skill, the ability to lie just enough to convince ourselves that we're not really lying. That we told enough of the truth to satisfy what's left of our sense of morality and, we hope, the listener. We're not really drunk. We just had a couple of beers.

You don't think so?

Take me, for example. When Dominique Strauss-Kahn was accused of rape, I all but convicted him, and, given the nature of rape cases, he could well be guilty. But I couched my accusation in just enough acceptable terminology to suggest the charges were mere allegations while coming down clearly and definitively on the side of his accuser. I didn't wait for the investigation. I forgot about the influence of power and money in justice. Only two beers.

And though I belong to no political party, and often claim neutrality in my positions or arguments, there is no question that much of what I write benefits one major political party far more than the other.

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